


Let's Walk Together

by taesuganme



Category: Hwarang: The Beginning
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Unbeta-ed, hwarang: the beginning - Freeform, i keep forgetting their names don't tell, i love dansae really, i'm such a flop fan, it's not incest, no plot what plot, sorry dansae, they're just really close
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 13:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10491996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taesuganme/pseuds/taesuganme
Summary: Yes, the only person Dansae has ever seen was Hansung.





	

In the cool, still air of the storeroom, Dansae is finally alone.

The silence has claws that grab at his sanity, but at least he is no longer staring at the forgiving eyes of his beloved half-brother. Even now, the guilt and horror of what he has done- to the only person he ever loved in the world- eats away at him, and he thinks of what he can possibly do to right it.

Yes, his brother is dead, his precious Hansung is dead, and he killed him.

Dansae allows the hot tears to fall down his face. His fists clench uselessly around nothing in the dim light; the poisoned sword he buried in the ground outside Hwarang House, but he feels its phantom shape in his hand, feels even now the tremor of his sweet Hansung’s hands around its wretched blade as the poor boy slowly died before him.

His fingertips brush the edge of something cool and sharp; a broken shard of pottery.

_Perhaps my blood would be sufficient to cover my sins._

With a shaking hand, Dansae lifts the shard into the light to see its vicious sharpness. Without hesitation, he brings it down quickly to his thigh, but before he can see its result, bright light shatters his dark stupor, and his heart jumps in fear. He hides his injury guiltily, squinting dazedly at a silhouetted shape in the doorway.

A tall figure enters the shadowy room, and Dansae recognises him as the other half-breed, the one he’d been told to kill. The man frowns at him, and he realizes he’s spotted the injury; betrayed by a growing patch of scarlet on his uniform.

Dansae watches in dumb bewilderment as the older man speaks and doesn’t make a move to attack him.

_Doesn’t he realize what I did? That I tried to kill him? And that I killed my brother- the secret favourite of all the Hwarangs? Doesn’t he hate me? Why won’t he put me out of my agony now?_

He barely catches the words that leave the man’s mouth; something about not dying and about a letter. A scroll of paper enters his field of vision, and Dansae forces himself to process the characters.

As he reads through a veil of tears, he slowly realizes what it is he is reading- a suicide note. Hansung’s suicide note.

For that is what it is; a note written by Hansung, clearly knowing he was about to do something which he would most certainly die doing, and still making it evident that he wasn’t afraid.

Dansae’s heart breaks then, knowing exactly what made his cherished brother commit such a foolhardy yet undeniably brave act.

He had wanted to do anything to save his brother from committing treason, a crime punishable by death. Even if it meant dying in the process.

The half-breed’s voice cuts into Dansae’s thoughts, murmuring something about understanding, but he barely registers it.

_Just leave me alone, please_

And then the man is gone.

Dansae sighs, a shuddering deep breath, and lifts a hand to wipe his tears away, but quickly freezes.

His right hand is coated in thick blood, and though he knows it is his own, he remembers Hansung’s blood coating his sword as the boy held it to his own heart.

A wordless scream leaps unchecked from his lungs, and Dansae covers his mouth in terror as a nightmarish vision of a bloody Hansung staggering towards him with eyes rolled back plagues his mind.

**Join me, Hyung** pleads the figure, limp arms held out towards the stricken brother, **come to me quickly.**

Dansae shudders but dares not move or even open his mouth.

_Go away, Hansung, you’re dead. I killed you._

**No I’m not, Dansae. I’m here, won’t you come and play with me? I’m so lonely and cold** replies Vision-Hansung, coming closer.

_But you were poisoned by the oil I put on my sword, how are you here?_

**What oil? What sword? Never mind, hyung, forget about it. Let’s make our own path now-**

Dansae shakes his head. _No, no, NO! I KILLED YOU! Don’t you understand?_

The vision fades away, and Dansae stares blankly into the darkness once more. He’s tired, and everything hurts, not least his heart.

The mere thought of carrying on breathing without seeing his soft-hearted dreamer of a brother again is agony, and he eventually comes to the decision that there is no point anymore in trying to go on alone. For since Hansung was born, he was meant to be the boy’s scapegoat and protector. He was nothing, nobody else. It was just who he was always meant to be- and he’d be lying if he said he hated it. He hates that he was blamed and punished for everything Hansung failed to do right, that much is a given, but at the same time Dansae knows he’ll never forget the days he’d spent watching Hansung enjoy pretty things, knowing it was due to him the boy was able to dream without fear of being hurt or trampled upon.

_No, without him, life is meaningless_.

Dansae picks up the shard of pottery once more. He knows it is unlikely anyone will come into the storage room for a while, and he doubts anyone apart from the half-breed will notice his absence.

He places the makeshift blade to his left wrist, and stabs, drags.

Crimson liquid trickles down his arm, and he watches in fascination as he knows Hansung would. Hansung always saw beauty in everything, whatever it was- even something like this.

Unsatisfied by one wound, Dansae applies the shard to his skin twice more. He wonders if the gene Hansung had inherited from their mother which made him so fascinated in the beauty of all things, he had also inherited; in the form of a deep fascination in a certain person.

Yes, the only person Dansae has ever seen was Hansung.

He finds the biggest artery he can in his thigh, and aims.

_I’m coming, Hansung. I’m sorry and I love you. I’m coming._

He can’t decide whether it’s red or black he sees last, but as he loses consciousness, he swears he hears the voices of the cold Ban Ryu and the flirtatious Soo Ho calling his name.

He breathes, then is gone.


End file.
